This is my first ever movie review. So, yeah. My dad came to my brother and I and told us to watch "Chocolate". At first I was wondering, "Why?"
Usually, when my dad wants us to watch a movie, it's something about conspiracy theories or 2012 or aliens. However, the movie he wanted to show us was a martial arts movie. Also, Thai. Since my brother and I are HUGE Tony Jaa fans, we decided to give it a whack. Hey, if The Protector was a Thai martial arts movie, lets give "Chocolate" a chance.  Maybe it'll be just as good as a Tony Jaa movie. So we did, and here's what I think of it:

"Chocolate" is a Thai action movie starring JeeJa Yanin. Simple enough, the girl she plays in the movie can watch Bruce Lee on the television, and become a living weapon.

The thing that freaks me out about the movie "hero" isn't that it's a little girl kicking grown men in the face, but the fact that she's AUTISTIC. Sure, the autistic bits are somewhat badly-acted. It kind of threw me off when the little girl would ask for mom's money in a childish-manner, and once the guy says, "No." POW! Right in the kisser! And she almost becomes a completely different person once she turns into an ass-kicking machine.
One thing I really like about the movie was all the references to Tony Jaa movies like "The Protector". Sure, I'm not a big fan of the earlier half with the love story, but the rest of the movie was pretty good.
It was hard to take the antagonist seriously due to the fact that it was a mafia of transvestites. Oh Thailand! However, tranny or not, these ladies were vicious!
Story was alright (my mom needs money for chemo, prepare to get owned!), most of the acting was alright, but what stands out to me the most was the fighting. The actress did all of the stunts HERSELF. The fighting was also very reminiscent of Tony Jaa and very-well choreographed! There was this scene in a freezer where she pulled the typical Bruce Lee "WooooOOOoh! Wa-TAH!"

She looked so cute doing it.

I'll give this movie 7/10 kicks in the face. Pretty average. Mostly because I love foreign films and the actress was just so talented in the area of martial arts. Being cute was also a plus. I found the ending kind of corny, though.

If you like touching stories about small children suffering from autism combined with ass-kicking on a Tony Jaa/ Young Jackie Chan level. This is the movie for you. Or even if you just like watching it for the violence, that's okay too (because my brother certainly did).

As a final say, I believe this movie is actually BETTER than the action movies I've seen coming from Hollywood. The fights were just so well-executed and some of part of the fight can make you cringe in pity of the guy who received a kick through the ice-cutter. I recommend it! Thailand can teach the U.S a thing or two about fight scenes.

- Kunoichi

It's been too long man.

Ugh. I might as well start.

I've been trying to write a new entry for god knows how long, but something didn't feel right. I'm not sure what it was, but I just couldn't get my thoughts together without it making no sense. See! That didn't even make sense.

Anyway, let me start off with the moment that made my month utter crap. My brother kept pestering me to bring a "friend" to capoeira. Of course, I didn't want to because I don't mix lifestyles. I don't bring friends to family, I don't talk to family about capoeira and I don't, by any means bring those who call themselves my "friends" to capoeira either. However, my brother was being an asshole and not listening to me and just went, "Just bring her!"

I got pissed and I knew some shit was going to happen. You know what they say about your first instincts. Always follow them.

I brought Ashley, a somewhat big, pretty sensitive, musical-loving girl. She exercises a lot and eats more veggies than I could imagine. I brought her to Saturday morning class and it went relatively well because Mr. King was teaching. Mestre convinced her to go to Tuesday and I wasn't sure I should be happy about it.

Tuesday came and so did she.

What happened next, just oh god. Ashley was trying to catch up on the warm-ups after she walked away (without saying or asking Mestre) and came back. Mestre stopped the class, and that's when he spoke.

My brother and I, both facepalmed once he mentioned the words, "Don't waste my time", "heart attack" and "high blood pressure". Ashley emotionally collapsed and cried. She stood up for herself by yelling "how dare you!" before leaving. I felt like shit. I felt fucking guilty.

I should've fought harder to convince my brother why I shouldn't mix lifestyles, because it blows up in my face and something terrible happens. Like when I brought my first friend to my house. My brother tried to have sex with her. The same with the NEXT friend I brought over. So I eventually stopped, because that asshat is going to try sleeping with my friends.
Everyone has been telling be, "Karina, it's not your fault."

I think it's B.S, because it was my fault. I started the chain-reaction of fail that led to that moment. I should've stood up to my asshole brother and said 'no', or maybe I should've explained the rules of class etiquette. Then again, I would think it was some what common sense to ask your teacher permission to use the bathroom. Her just up and leaving offended him and that's what led him to go on that random tangent.

I'm not the one to say that all the blame lies in one person, it was everyone's fault. My brother for not listening to me when I said, "IT'S A BAD IDEA."
Me for giving in and for not explaining the etiquette of class to her. Her for unintentionally offending Mestre, but that wasn't really her fault since she was just a beginner. So, never mind.

I guess this is why we don't have many people in our class. Mestre makes them cry, frustrates them or scares them away. He expects beginners to know everything already, but that's not how you teach. A plane moves forward slowly before taking off. Mestre does feel bad about what happened and he's told me to try and contact her to apologize. I have, but after that day, she's never picked up her phone.

It's fine though, I'm sure I was bound to lose contact with her someday.

Last Saturday I went to a ball with Jax. She invited me and of course, I said "yes". I had to lie to my mom again and told her I was with Jade. Although, I've never even TALKED to Jade since school ended. Regardless, she makes a good alibi.

I watched "Where the Wild Things Are" with her and meh, it was okay. Nothing to get too excited about. Although, a part of me was still wondering if the kid really went to the island, or is he just sat in a boat all night and spaced out. Also, I found Max a little annoying.

"Rawr! Imma monster! *bitebitebite* Make me food, woman!"

Overall, the movie was a little below average. I rate it a C- . You guys know how ball-busting I am with my movies. I want a movie that will make me shit bricks, but none has made me to that so far.

Anyway, after that I went to her apartment and met her roommates. One was a guy, white, somewhat overweight but had a really calm way about him. He drew really well and was a Dungeon Master. The other roommate was his girlfriend. They were really sappy together, but nonetheless pretty cool. They put on this terrible 70's Japanese live-action superhero show. You know the ones, where the villains are always a color and an animal?

"Oh no! The Turquoise Kangaroo is destroying the city!"

Anyway, at some point during the episode, the hero was getting his ass kicked and he was to turn into his android alter-ego. At that moment, the couple both shouted, "Chenji! Chenji!" ('Change' with a Japanese accent)

Hella funny.

Jax made this bitchin' pasta with chicken before we went to the ball. We were somewhat late because the ladies had to get ready. Once we got there though, we took part in some of the group dances. The ones where everyone in the room holds hands and dances together. That was fun. The people there looked fabulous! Some of them were dressed like they just got off the set of The Phantom of the Opera movie. A lot of men were wearing those little penguin/butler suits I always wanted.

Butler suits rock.

Regardless of how amazing the atmosphere of the place was, I still felt antsy. Of course, since I was a little nervous and tired, I scarfed down like 6 chocolate chip cookies.

Om nom nom.

Jax looked stunning in a dress to say the least, but dancing with her was a train wreck. We both sucked. It was hilarious. After sometime though, like, by the third waltz we started getting the hang of it after I started to lead. I was only taught to lead, not follow back in Intro to the Arts. Since I was wearing a suit, it didn't mater anyway. However, since I was on the rag that day, I pretty much HAD to go to the girl's bathroom, but I couldn't find it. So I asked someone where the bathroom was and pointed me to a certain direction.
After I had followed it long enough, I reached a door that said, "Men's Restroom".

OH HA HA.

Not that I mind it, but since it was the time of the month, It was mandatory I go to the women's. Once I found it (in the other side of the building) I had to go through this "Ladies Lounge" to go to the bathroom. I swear, the women looked like they were about to scream.

"Eek! A penis!"

I wish.

I wasn't used to all the touching I had to do with Jax. I still felt like I had to keep my distance, but you kind of have to touch your partner to dance. Seaking of which, dancing polka was awesome! I mean, it hurt, I got dizzy, it was WAY too fast, but Jax and I had a blast. I'm glad she invited me. However, since the ball ended at midnight, I had to leave early to catch the last BART back to San Francisco. After mild pleading from Jax and her roommate, I asked my mom if I could spend the night at "Jade's house". She said yes and spent the night at Jax's apartment. They were really generous and were really hospitable. I have a fear of sleeping alone, so instead of sleeping in Jax's bed, we both crashed on the couch, listening to the soothing sounds of Silent Hill. I woke up butt-hurt early, like 8 and Jax made breakfast.

Waffles, eggs and bacon. Oh lawdy!

We chatted it up for a bit and found out she's a hunter, sort of. I'm an environmentalist-type, but I think that if you want to eat meat, you should kill it yourself. (I swear, I'll go back to being vegetarian once I move to NYC!) That's where we slightly bumped heads, but it's understandable since she was born and raised in the mid-west and I was born and raised in a place like San Francisco. She walked me to the BART station, awkward chin-shoulder-bump hug and I was off.

I'm not sure why these meetings with Jax feel weird. Not in a bad way, but not in a good way either. I feel like I'm not sure how to act and it's just awkward. I feel like I'm forcing myself to be acquainted with this person who is more or less a stranger instead of letting the social-stuff flow semi-naturally.

Meh, it was still fun.

I'm freaking out! Halloween is tomorrow and I still don't have a costume! I need to trick-or-treat now! Gah!

Candy candy candy!

- Kunoichi

EDIT: I found an old black hooded robe in my closet. Just bought some face paint. I'm going as the grim reaper. Why do men have all the best costumes? They can be a Jedi, a ninja, a pirate, a cowboy, an astronaut, and just about anything! What costumes are there for girls? Whore, whore, whore, whore with an eyepatch, whore, whore..

I'm finished. :D